A campaign diary by Presidential candidate Brother Voodoo, vice-presidential candidate Wong, and campaign manager Morgana Blessing.
3 November 2004
Brother Voodoo 3:12AM
2 November 2004
Time to start getting my resumé together.
Morganna Blessing 6:17PM
Back in New York finally. It was a long swim from
Monster Island. Found Brother Voodoo and discovered he had raised a new running
mate. Took care of that zombie with a little magic of my own...but only after
Zombie Spiro Agnew 10:00AM
Election day is here at last!! I feel the spirits
are with us!
Brother Voodoo 9:11AM
1 November 2004
Spiro Agnew? What was Brother Voodoo thinking? This
is going to call for a big time PR blitz. Damn, I wish we had Wong back.
Morgana Blessing 3:12PM
Have managed to cut my way out of Godzilla stomach.
Now somewhere in his abdominal cavity. Need to get out soon. Need air.
Success! I have a new running mate...zombie Spiro
Agnew. A little quiet, but then so was Wong.
Brother Voodoo 2:13AM
Zombie Spiro Agnew 2:01AM
October 31, 2004
Brother Voodoo's up to something. That's a big worry.
Morgana Blessing 7:18PM
Halloween! The night the spirits walk the Earth. My magics are
strong tonight. I need a new vice presidential candidate. I think I shall raise
the corpse of Spiro Agnew. That should work well. Now, where did Morgana put
those newt's eyes?
Brother Voodoo 7:10PM
Digestive juices...burning skin. Lost...more...hair. Finally...reached...pocket
October 30, 2004
The rally was going superbly, we must have had our largest crowd
yet. Easily 3000 people. Brother Voodoo gave a brilliant and charismatic speech.
Then Wong got up to speak and disaster struck. That's right. Godzilla. Damn
giant Japanese lizard! Shouldn't he be in Tokyo instead of New York City!! Ate
a damn good VP candidate!
Morgana Blessing 9:22PM
Disaster! Gojira attacked and ate Wong! I was able to drive him
away using my magicks, but I think it was too late for my vice presidential
candidate. I bet this was all Nader's fault!
Brother Voodoo 9:21PM
Ow! My arm!! Ow my leg! Medic!!
October 29, 2004
Leaving New Hampshire (and where is Old Hampshire?) to meet up
with Wong and Morgana in New York City for a big rally Saturday.
Brother Voodoo 6:26PM
Making last minute arrangements for our biggest event yet: tomorrow's
rally. Alerting the media. Checking with the Caterer. Tracking down my special
guests. And hiring an exorcist. Can't forget about that.
Morgana Blessing 3:23PM
I hate getting up early just to catch a flight, and I hate flying
Southwest with their Vishanti-damned "Cattle Car seating." Sigh. At
least I'll be back in New York by tonight.
Octber 28, 2004
Pat Robertson denounced us on the 700 Club last
night. Out best press in weeks!
Morgana Blessing 11:34AM
Bats! As the tour bus (well, Greyhound bus) was leaving Houston,
we were attacked by a swarm of Vampire Bats! Luckliy, thanks to a few magical
charms and a bus driver with a lead foot, we were able to escape.
The full moon last night was good, and the lunar eclipse made
it especially potent. By the light of the moon, I was out in the glade. The
sacrifice of 3 chickens will improve my chances for a win on Tuesday. I had
hoped to sacrifice a Libertarian candidate to ensure victory, but couldn't find
Brother Voodoo 7:32AM
October 27, 2004
Many stops in Texas today. Dallas, San Antonio, Austin, Houston.
I hate having to wear the stupid hat, but I do love that Boot Scoot Boogie!
Campaigning throughout the entire state of Pennsylvania today.
Good steaks sanwiches, but you think they'd have fixed the crack in the Liberty
Bell by now. On to Rhode Island tomorrow - which Wong tells me is not even an
Brother Voodoo 5:12PM
We need a military endorsement to help us in this upcoming election.
I don't think that Brother Voodoo's stint in the Haitian National Guard will
carry much weight with American voters. Maybe Thunderbolt Ross or Nick Fury
could help. Where's General Zod when you need him?. Captain Atom volunteered,
but he's still a Captain after all these years ... that worries me. Hell, I'd
even take Major Disaster (or even Major Bummer) at this point.
Morgana Blessing 3:57PM
Wong is in Texas today. He hates the state. I think it is because
he has to wear the obligatory cowboy hat. He hates hats.
Morgana Blessing 8:42AM
October 26, 2004
long bus ride today
shake hands and kiss the babies
is it over yet
rain in birmingham
no one came to the rally
think i’ll take a nap
cast your ballot the right way
vote brother voodoo
Brother Voodoo 10:40PM
Oklahoma dinner tonight. No zombies, no stalkers, no elderly ladies,
no vampire bats. It went very smoothly, something that’s never happened
before. Now I’m worried.
Finances are tight again, and with only days left, we need all
the money we can get. Luckily, Topaz and Santana are working their fund-raising
magic. Two large checks today: one from Fisk Spice Importers
and one from Adrian Veidt.
Morganna Blessing 5:13PM
October 25, 2004
Less than a week to go. Time to get get serious. Made a voodoo
doll of every other candidate and their family. Didn't do Dick Cheney or Theresa
Kerry -- they already doing more damege than I ever could.
Brother Voodoo 1:11PM
I decided to go ahead and accept the Luthor endorsement. At this
point I don't have much to lost. Also received a crudely written and poorly
spelled. Not signed. I wonder who sent it. Envelope was slightly soggy and return
address was someplace called R'lyeh.
Morgana Blessing 11:21AM
I just finished talking at an AARP breakfast in La Jolla when
two little old ladies came up and told me that they "just loved me in The
King and I."
Oh well, it's two votes.
October 24, 2004
At a rally this morning, a young child asked me if monsters really
existed and really wanted to eat him. "Yes," I replied and started
describing some of the varieties of monsters that are fond of human flesh. His
mother pulled him away when he started crying.
I may have lost her vote.
Brother Voodoo 4:22PM
Returned back to the Sanctum after several weeks on the road.
I've been neglecting some of my household duties while campaigning. Spent this
morning cleaning the carpets. Doc has a cloak of levitation, so why does he
insist on tracking mud through the house?
October 23, 2004
Got a call from a person representing Lex Luthor, saying that
the former president would like to endorse Brother Voodoo. I'm not sure this
is a good idea. I think I'm going to have to sleep on it. I will turn them over
to Topaz and Santana for fund...procurement, though
Morgana Blessing 3:34PM
October 22, 2004
Note to self: Cancel campaign appearances with the Scarlet Witch.
Morgana Blessing 8:16AM
October 21, 2004
Finances are becoming an issue again. Went to the Sanctum to talk
to Doc Strange today. I asked him if he’d had any luck with that transmuting
lead to gold. He gave me a lecture on the ethics of magic. I replied: “Ethics?
This is politics we’re talking about!”
He put his hand on my shoulder and said, “Morgana, I was once like you, but then I was ret-conned so now I’m not sure who I am.”
He then strolled into the kitchen whistling “Daydream Believer”.
Morgana Blessing 4:12PM
October 20, 2004
Various stops in Kansas today. Damn it’s flat.
Brother Voodoo 7:18PM
Booster Gold called today, offering his endorsement. I told him
we weren’t home and hung up the phone.
Morgana Blessing 3:47PM
October 17, 2004
Called up Zatanna today looking for an endorsement. “Ffo
Ssip,” she said. That was messy, let me tell you. Finally had a chance
to explain that I wasn’t a telemarketer, but represented the Brother Voodoo
campaign. We got the endorsement, and she suggested we stay away from John Constantine.
Morgana Blessing 1:56PM
October 14, 2004
Had the definite feeling that I was being watched today. I felt
eyes on me wherever I was. Had Doc check the scrying glass, but he reported
no magical interference, just an ordinary stalker. I’d call the police
but I like the attention.
I want my own action figure.
Brother Voodoo 11:17AM
October 13, 2004
The final Nation Presidential Debate has come and gone, and once
again, the Dissent Party Presidential Candidate was not invited. Sometimes it
feels like I'm fighting a losing battle.
At least it will make a good book.
Morgana Blessing 10:56PM
October 10, 2004
Rally in New Orleans. I wish Brother Voodoo wasn’t so popular
with the undead. They scare away our other supporters.
October 8, 2004
Another Presidential debate, another “lost” invitation.
I suspect that they were never serious about inviting us after all, and just
told me an invitation was “in the mail” to get me to shut up. I’ll
see if Jennifer can whip up some kind of revenge spell.
Morgana Blessing 5:31PM
UPDATE: “Internets” Snicker. Good work, Jennifer.
Morgana Blessing 8:45PM
October 7, 2004
Bailed Voodoo out of Central City jail today. He needs to learn
– possessed baby or not – just kiss it and go on the next one. Hope
I can keep this out of the papers.
Morganna Blessing 11:57PM
Bending to down to kiss baby at Rally in Central City today when
I noticed the child was possessed by the Demon Spawn on Shuggoth. Grabbed it
and performed a quick exorcism. The rite was successful but the parents didn’t
Brother Voodoo 9:43PM
October 5, 2004
I am deeply hurt that I was not included in tonight's Vice-Presidential
debate. I know that I could have wiped the floor with Edwards and Cheney. Well,
done better than Stockdale anyway.
Morganna and Doc tell me not to worry because nobody watched it anyway.
October 3, 2004
In St. Louis today. Dangerous city --when will people learn that
the Arch is nothing but an altar to the Great Old Ones? Anyway, the rally went
well. Love those toasted ravioli at the Pasta House.
Brother Voodoo 11:32PM
October 1, 2004
Avengers are not answering their phone. Will keep trying, but
looks like any endorsement from them will be unlikely.
Morgana Blessing 3:20PM
A two-headed calf was born yesterday in Davenport. It bleated
twice than died. Clearly a sign that we need to rethink our strategy in Iowa.
Brother Voodoo 10:33AM
September 30, 2004
Was not invited to the Presidential Debate tonight. Frankly, that’s
no concern. The constellations are in a bad alignment and would have been against
me. Prank called Ralph Nader’s house instead.
Brother Voodoo 10:42PM
Rally in Opal City today.
September 29, 2004
Hired Jennifer Kale to head our Operations Director. She has excellent
people skills and a subtle touch. Classy dresser too. Had to agree to hire Topaz
and Santana as well. I'll put those two in charge of fund-raising, they seem
to work well together.
Morgana Blessing 4:23PM
September 28, 2004
Full moon tonight. I plan on sacrificing a she-goat to appease
the fickle spirits.
Brother Voodoo 6:21PM
September 27, 2004
I think we need a documentary made about our campaign.
Brother Voodoo 11:23AM
September 26, 2004
Another hurricane hits the east coast. The wind loas are unhappy.
Brother Voodoo 6:21PM
September 24, 2004
On the East Coast today at the annual meeting of “Frustrated
Bald Men of Baltimore.” The speech went well and I received a standing
ovation. I’m told to expect the full support of all follicularly-challenged
men from Maryland.
September 20, 2004
Poor attendance tonight at Gotham City campaign rally. Almost
like people were too scared to leave their homes.
Brother Voodoo 9:22PM
September 14, 2004
Finally, the campaign supplies we ordered weeks ago came in. Two
cases of bumper stickers, one hundred yard signs and a dozen large banners.
Also two dozen eye of newt, a case of bat wings and some virgin blood.
Morgana Blessing 2:23PM
© 2004 Polite Dissent